As I ponder on what to write for this edition, I think of so many things…the global recession, rebranding, naira depreciation, election petitions gone bad, removal of judges’ orderlies….the list is endless. And I have to cook for the week, prepare for my son’s test with him, finish up this article and so much more, then bang, it hit me, what a life we women live.
I once heard a saying that a woman is a picture but once she is a mother she becomes a frame, it is quite funny but also very true. With the prevalent global economic situation, women all over the world are saddled with more responsibilities than ever. She has to make things work despite all odds and this is indeed a battle that she must win!
The daily life of a typical Nigerian woman is very hectic; whether she is a full time mother or a career woman. Most people believe that a full time mother is just plain lazy and less effective but I have travelled on that road once and believe me it is not an easy feat. For those with child(ren), it gets more difficult because in between school runs, shopping, cooking, supervision, the day is gone and there are things left undone on the to-do list.
As a career woman, there is this permanent guilt most women carry along in their daily lives, the guilt of absence at relevant school activities, leaving the kids at home with a maid or nanny, and the desire to want to over pamper the kids to make up for lost time. It gets even difficult because you tend to spend even less time with your spouse who sometimes does not understand why there has to be traffic on your way home or why you have to spend extra time at work (like he does not do that). Yet you still get less chance to see your folks and girlfriends, what time do we have to go to the salon, when half of the Sunday is spent in between church activities, entertaining guest(s) and hopping from one obligatory owambe to another on Saturdays…
As a child, I used to look at my mother as a super woman because I could not honestly fathom how she managed to cope, now I see her as *spider woman*, quick to come to anyone’s rescue. Even now that I am in those shoes, it takes so much more to survive as a woman.
Here are few tips that can make the Nigerian woman stay afloat especially in this economic downturn.
v Be financially savvy: it is better to be better organized so as to survive this financial mess, we need to get our priorities right. Is that Gucci bag really important, or must you buy that N10, 000 aso-ebi? These are questions we need to ask ourselves and take important decisions. An easy spending plan will be more suitable especially for those that spend on impulse, create a plan e.g. come up with a set weekly spending amount and stick to it for the week – NO MATTER WHAT! You will find that there is more money left over at the end of the month and now you can spurge on some fancy stuffs– guilt free! Whatever is in your wallet is your weekly spending money. When you run out of money in your wallet, you are done spending for the week. You can still do the things you love, but you need to prioritize them on a weekly basis. And remember cultivate a savings habit.
v Be health conscious: It is rather unfortunate that most women with all they face on daily basis forget to take care of themselves. It is at these times that we need to pay close attention to our health and that of the family. Nowadays, more women face health challenges and so it is essential to always visit your gynecologist and do a health assessment. Be free to discuss any issue(s) with your doctor and ask for the interpretations of your results if it gets too scientific, it’s your health remember!
v Plan your weekend and leave period: When there is free time, it is better to invest wisely with family. Do something fun with your family, a game, picnic, and make up for the time lost. Also make phone calls to your close girlfriends and try to spend time with them too. Most especially, have a “me” time.
v For the stay at home moms, you can also make some cash while at home, if you are good with kids, you can take in your friends or neighbor’s kids at a charge, you can rent out your cooking sets e.g. warmers, pots, glass cups for parties, if you are good at baking, sewing or other stuffs, its time to turn your hobby to a trade. Or better still, acquire a skill.
v Stay spiritually alert: Get closer to God and lean not on your own understanding. Don’t feel guilty that you are running to God because things are rough, it is important that we recognize our weakness and turn to God; He is willing to take you back, so long as you are truthful.
Above all, it is important to stay happy and determined, that is the only thing that can make us survive this period.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
cleaning my closet
Here am I in my room still undecided on where to start from, it’s some twenty something days left before the close of 2008, and I must clean this closet…
I need to reduce the content of this closet because I had lots of stuffs I did not require and my dear closet was spilling.
So I began with the chest of drawers…this is where I keep my lingerie, sample products, sun frames and the likes, there were quite a lot that I did not even use this year, and the journey to self-discovery begins.
I saw my good ol’ Ray Ban that dh bought for me sometimes back, and, “no way this aint going” I told myself. I always cherish all my gifts from him. And I came across a host of body lotion, sun tan and all our numerous lotion for our different part of the body, and I am like “What”. So I took some out.
The next drawer housed my handwritten letters, poems, things-to-do stickers (some were left undone), Pastor Taiwo’s messages, and I got reading…by the time I checked my clock, it was evening, and I was not yet through but I was close to tears.
So I speedily browsed through my clothes section, I saw my ever faithful white shirts that I have come to love after six to seven years of legal life, my ever reliable corsets, hardly used jogging slacks, and the LBD of ages etc. They all brought back memories, howbeit sweet and sour.
Some of them I would no longer need because I am more matured, some because I have lost some pounds and added more, some because I need to reduce the content of my closet, and some will go into my vintage box.
The next call was my shoes, my arrogant black shoes that disallow me to acquire other shade of shoes. I was not sentimental here at all. I swiftly deposited the sole less ones, my faithful sandals were not overlooked as I deleted some.
And my make-up box, and I was laughing, “Who am I, Tara or Banke meshida”
And it was all over, my closet was clean.
The morale of my blab is simple…
We hold on to so many junks in our lives that we do not need, this clogs our mind, body and soul.
We easily forget the people who helped us in our times of want; when we clean out of some of the bad company we keep we can remember them.
We need to clean our closets intermittently so that we do not lose our vision.
Finally, I think it makes us free because I feel better!
Dh- dear husband
Lbd: little black dress
I need to reduce the content of this closet because I had lots of stuffs I did not require and my dear closet was spilling.
So I began with the chest of drawers…this is where I keep my lingerie, sample products, sun frames and the likes, there were quite a lot that I did not even use this year, and the journey to self-discovery begins.
I saw my good ol’ Ray Ban that dh bought for me sometimes back, and, “no way this aint going” I told myself. I always cherish all my gifts from him. And I came across a host of body lotion, sun tan and all our numerous lotion for our different part of the body, and I am like “What”. So I took some out.
The next drawer housed my handwritten letters, poems, things-to-do stickers (some were left undone), Pastor Taiwo’s messages, and I got reading…by the time I checked my clock, it was evening, and I was not yet through but I was close to tears.
So I speedily browsed through my clothes section, I saw my ever faithful white shirts that I have come to love after six to seven years of legal life, my ever reliable corsets, hardly used jogging slacks, and the LBD of ages etc. They all brought back memories, howbeit sweet and sour.
Some of them I would no longer need because I am more matured, some because I have lost some pounds and added more, some because I need to reduce the content of my closet, and some will go into my vintage box.
The next call was my shoes, my arrogant black shoes that disallow me to acquire other shade of shoes. I was not sentimental here at all. I swiftly deposited the sole less ones, my faithful sandals were not overlooked as I deleted some.
And my make-up box, and I was laughing, “Who am I, Tara or Banke meshida”
And it was all over, my closet was clean.
The morale of my blab is simple…
We hold on to so many junks in our lives that we do not need, this clogs our mind, body and soul.
We easily forget the people who helped us in our times of want; when we clean out of some of the bad company we keep we can remember them.
We need to clean our closets intermittently so that we do not lose our vision.
Finally, I think it makes us free because I feel better!
Dh- dear husband
Lbd: little black dress
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
to my unborn child
i remember clearly four years ago,when i was expecting my firsy child....i was so excited like most expectant mothers,i was battling with soooooooo many emotions;from excitment to fear to mood swings n food cravings(oh!i so loved ofada rice n peppered stew).n my adeolu had to contend with all these!.as always i was keeping a journal to capture those peak moments.d ff excerpt is from my archive n i decided to share with............."
To my unborn child"
i pray to God to keep you safe in me
i pray to God to wrap you warm in me
when i feel weak,i pray you'll be strong
when i feel drowsy, i pray you'll be kicking
as i pass thru 3 months of morning sickness
i pray you'll have 9 months of morning blessings
when i am contracting, i pray you'll be all safe
if my waters break,you will not be broken
when my cervix is fully dilated,you'll be all set
as you travel down planet earth
i pray you'll have a safe trip
as you disentangle from d unbilical cord
our bond will never be broken
asyou scream and cry for the first time
my babyboy i say"welcome home babe"
To my unborn child"
i pray to God to keep you safe in me
i pray to God to wrap you warm in me
when i feel weak,i pray you'll be strong
when i feel drowsy, i pray you'll be kicking
as i pass thru 3 months of morning sickness
i pray you'll have 9 months of morning blessings
when i am contracting, i pray you'll be all safe
if my waters break,you will not be broken
when my cervix is fully dilated,you'll be all set
as you travel down planet earth
i pray you'll have a safe trip
as you disentangle from d unbilical cord
our bond will never be broken
asyou scream and cry for the first time
my babyboy i say"welcome home babe"
Addressed the way you dress
You are addressed the way you dress
“Dress the way you want to be addressed” is a popular saying which is definitely true. It is therefore important that we pay attention to our dressing as it goes a long way in everything we do.
The first thing that struck me as a child was the way lawyers dressed. I was very impressed with the whole black and white dress code, the wig and gown and all other accessories. I was especially tripped when I watched the series “Boston legal”; the lawyers looked well-groomed and professional. I must confess that this was what made me fall in love with the legal profession.
During my court attachment, I was able to learn and observe all the court room drama and other things like the way our Nigerian lawyers dress. A typical day in Lagos high court is a busy one as lawyers run in and out of court room.
As a law student, I was expected to be properly dressed in a black or dark blue skirt suit, but sometimes I could pass with a white shirt and appropriate black skirt. I was not yet called to the bar so I could not put on the almighty wig and gown. So, I looked forward to taking notes as well as being a fashion law reporter.
My first day in court was a very memorable one as the court was really full and I witnessed an interesting case. Also the presiding judge was a very stern woman who ordered a new wig out of her court because of her “inappropriate dressing”.
I realized that as lawyers, we are seen as professionals and so one should always appear neat and presentable in and out of court. A lawyer should wear a dark suit, clean white shirt and well pressed bib while appearing in court. He should also be composed and have good manners.
Lord Denning in his book “Discipline of law”, page 9 said: “whatever the tribunal, you must give a good impression. Your appearance means a lot, dress neatly, not slovenly. Be well groomed”.
The picture that comes to mind is that of Barrack Obama, the presidential candidate of the Democrats in the ongoing United States Presidential election campaign. He is a lawyer and a well groomed one; he always appears very neat and precise even when formally dressed.
As lawyers, we deal with clients all the time and so one cannot afford to appear shabby and unkempt. Always remember that your dress/appearance is the best pointer to your personality. A well- groomed, clean attired lawyer comes across as a professional who has clean briefs, clean argument and will most likely swerve a judge.
Being well dressed does not mean wearing a Valentino suit or sporting a designer tie, it simply means appearing trim and smart. The men should take note of their appearance by wearing a clean shave, well- polished shoes, clean and crisp shirt and above all good composure. Also, the women should keep their hair neat and wear clean clothes, well polished shoes and keep the perfume very light.
The importance of dressing right cannot be over emphasized especially as we live in the 21st century. Good dressing speaks volume about an individual, it speaks personality, success and it commands respect.
Even for non lawyers, the issue of dressing right affects everyone and the corporate world especially the banking sector has realized this, thus prompting it to give dress code for its staff.
A vivid example of good dressing comes to my mind. I took my four year old son to the hospital for a check up and he refused to allow the nurse take his vitals. After much cajoling, he said he was not sure if the lady was a nurse because she was not wearing a white dress like nurses do. It was a very funny scenario but I realized that dressing goes a long way in all we do.
As individuals, we all desire to be respected and so we should learn to “dress the part”. If you want to be addressed as a bank manager, then it’s up to you to dress the part or as a S.A.N, dress the part but don’t go wearing the silk robe if you are not one!
“Dress the way you want to be addressed” is a popular saying which is definitely true. It is therefore important that we pay attention to our dressing as it goes a long way in everything we do.
The first thing that struck me as a child was the way lawyers dressed. I was very impressed with the whole black and white dress code, the wig and gown and all other accessories. I was especially tripped when I watched the series “Boston legal”; the lawyers looked well-groomed and professional. I must confess that this was what made me fall in love with the legal profession.
During my court attachment, I was able to learn and observe all the court room drama and other things like the way our Nigerian lawyers dress. A typical day in Lagos high court is a busy one as lawyers run in and out of court room.
As a law student, I was expected to be properly dressed in a black or dark blue skirt suit, but sometimes I could pass with a white shirt and appropriate black skirt. I was not yet called to the bar so I could not put on the almighty wig and gown. So, I looked forward to taking notes as well as being a fashion law reporter.
My first day in court was a very memorable one as the court was really full and I witnessed an interesting case. Also the presiding judge was a very stern woman who ordered a new wig out of her court because of her “inappropriate dressing”.
I realized that as lawyers, we are seen as professionals and so one should always appear neat and presentable in and out of court. A lawyer should wear a dark suit, clean white shirt and well pressed bib while appearing in court. He should also be composed and have good manners.
Lord Denning in his book “Discipline of law”, page 9 said: “whatever the tribunal, you must give a good impression. Your appearance means a lot, dress neatly, not slovenly. Be well groomed”.
The picture that comes to mind is that of Barrack Obama, the presidential candidate of the Democrats in the ongoing United States Presidential election campaign. He is a lawyer and a well groomed one; he always appears very neat and precise even when formally dressed.
As lawyers, we deal with clients all the time and so one cannot afford to appear shabby and unkempt. Always remember that your dress/appearance is the best pointer to your personality. A well- groomed, clean attired lawyer comes across as a professional who has clean briefs, clean argument and will most likely swerve a judge.
Being well dressed does not mean wearing a Valentino suit or sporting a designer tie, it simply means appearing trim and smart. The men should take note of their appearance by wearing a clean shave, well- polished shoes, clean and crisp shirt and above all good composure. Also, the women should keep their hair neat and wear clean clothes, well polished shoes and keep the perfume very light.
The importance of dressing right cannot be over emphasized especially as we live in the 21st century. Good dressing speaks volume about an individual, it speaks personality, success and it commands respect.
Even for non lawyers, the issue of dressing right affects everyone and the corporate world especially the banking sector has realized this, thus prompting it to give dress code for its staff.
A vivid example of good dressing comes to my mind. I took my four year old son to the hospital for a check up and he refused to allow the nurse take his vitals. After much cajoling, he said he was not sure if the lady was a nurse because she was not wearing a white dress like nurses do. It was a very funny scenario but I realized that dressing goes a long way in all we do.
As individuals, we all desire to be respected and so we should learn to “dress the part”. If you want to be addressed as a bank manager, then it’s up to you to dress the part or as a S.A.N, dress the part but don’t go wearing the silk robe if you are not one!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I also have a dream...
I dream of a Nigeria where peace and love is our watchword
Imagine a young boy from the mount of Ekiti
who will find a cure of AIDS
Imagine a teenage chap from the food basket state
who will have the biggest farm in Africa
Imagine the girl child from the Northern Nigeria
who will be well educated with equal rights
Imagine a young lawyer from the rocky city of Abeokuta
who will fight for human rights and justice
Imagine a young boy from the Niger Delta creeks
berthing a wholly Nigerian oil and gas firm
Imagine a Nnewi trader
running his own conglomerate
Imagine a Nigeria with a strong currency
where our fellow kinsmen will troop back home
Imagine a Nigeria where the foreign embassies
will be begging for visa applicants
Imagine a Nigeria
where her citizens will wake up and say "God bless Nigeria"
Imagine a better NIgeria...
it starts with you and I
Imagine a young boy from the mount of Ekiti
who will find a cure of AIDS
Imagine a teenage chap from the food basket state
who will have the biggest farm in Africa
Imagine the girl child from the Northern Nigeria
who will be well educated with equal rights
Imagine a young lawyer from the rocky city of Abeokuta
who will fight for human rights and justice
Imagine a young boy from the Niger Delta creeks
berthing a wholly Nigerian oil and gas firm
Imagine a Nnewi trader
running his own conglomerate
Imagine a Nigeria with a strong currency
where our fellow kinsmen will troop back home
Imagine a Nigeria where the foreign embassies
will be begging for visa applicants
Imagine a Nigeria
where her citizens will wake up and say "God bless Nigeria"
Imagine a better NIgeria...
it starts with you and I
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I really dont understand Nigerians, we are a set of funny and dynamic peolpe, imagine we have a sick president and all we can do is to kill the man even before he dies.I find this rather unpleasant because he is someone's father, someone' s husband and most interestingly our president. I expect that we wake up every morning to pray for him to survive and then we deal with the issue of his health, if he is fit to rule or not and ascertain the true state of his health.
I am not a fan of President Yaradua or a spokes person but I think as fellow citizens, we should support him at this crucial point in his life.Its actually funny that we don't even pray for our country not to talk of the leaders.
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